Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
