I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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