capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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