You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
