i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
