So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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