That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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