I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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