yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
