We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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