Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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