she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
