I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
