Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this boner is exhausting
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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