I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize