I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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