Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
