You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In other news, I just burned my penis
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
