I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
