Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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