so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Terrible idea I love it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
