I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
