After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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