Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
