He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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