New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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