naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
