the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
