Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
