he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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