Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize