This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
