its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
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With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize