3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
