its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
