make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
