Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
