she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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