i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
