Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
