Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
