How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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