"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
