Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
