Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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