I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
40s are totally the cure
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
