I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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