Christians are straight up FREAKS
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
