Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
