No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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