So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
