you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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