She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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