Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
