His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
