does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
