addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize