ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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