Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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