Your face is a jimmy john
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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