we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
