I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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