i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
