I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
