dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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