I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
