You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
